JK ROWLING IS WRITING ANOTHER BOOK.

HELP.

WHAT DO I DO?

BREATHE?

DRINK TEA?

SING ATOP A MOUNTAIN?

SCREAM?

CRY?

SKIP DOWN THE STREET?

OPEN ALL THE MAILBOXES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD?

THROW CONFETTI?

ANNOUNCE IT TO EVERYONE IN THE VICINITY WITH A MEGAPHONE? 

HACK INTO ALL THE ROUTERS IN MY TOWN AND ALERT THEM OF THIS INCREDIBLE NEWS VIA THEIR COMPUTERS?

SHOULD I BUY AN ELEPHANT?

OR PLANT A TREE?

CHANGE ALL THE VOICEMAIL MESSAGES IN THE WORLD TO “I’M SORRY THIS PERSON CANNOT COME TO THE PHONE BECAUSE JK ROWLING IS WRITING A BOOK AND THEY ARE TOO OVERCOME WITH EMOTION TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW” 

WHAT DO I DO?

Are you guys as excited as I am?

I refresh that page like it’s my job.

Thanks to tweentyonee21 for this wonderful submission!

perspicuous: (adjective) clear and easy to understand, generally in regard to speech or writing

pusillanimous: (adjective) cowardly, profoundly lacking in noble qualities of courage and valor

apophenia: (noun) finding meaning or patterns where none exist

Thanks to sirgrumpygills for this submission!

I have actually considered it, because listening to a book on tape wouldn’t be quite the same.

Thanks to timid-troubadour for this awesome suggestion!

sesquipedalian: (adjective) using long words

“I could not believe my eyes when I saw this in a legitimate newspaper. I wanted to cry…”

Thanks to letyourmemoriesgrow for this!

euphonious: (adjective) pleasing to the ear

If one day, you really make something of yourself, and then a student will get that same textbook and see your signature, your name in it.

What will they be able to tell about you by your handwriting, or the color pen you chose? 

Will they know who you are? Will they recognize your name? What will come up if they decide to Google your name? What kind of life will you have lived?

Will they be inspired by you? Ashamed? Disappointed? Motivated? Impressed?

What kind of effect will signing your name in that textbook have on another student’s life?

Thanks to mikeriffown for this one!